After eleven years of helping to raise grandchildren, putting my writing career on hold (by my own free will, I have to admit), and suppressing the seething thoughts that roil just beneath the surface of my mind, I have decided the time has come to reclaim my goals and my passions, perhaps to venture down the untrod path, and to begin the process of writing a re-energized and
re-inspired story, one that I hope will give substance to the years ahead.
When I broached the subject of reclaiming my life, my daughter-in-law was incensed. “What are you saying, Mamette? That you had no life all those years you were tending and home schooling the kids?” She had every right to be angry, I realize now. I didn’t lose my life during those years. I lost nothing but parts, while retaining the whole.
So, the page before me is not a blank slate. It holds the watermarks of everything I have thought or done or, perhaps, should have done. Plans mislaid and projects waiting to be picked up again. And, while there is nothing to be reclaimed or regained, there are new chapters to be written. I have only to restructure, reformat, rework. To edit as I might a manuscript that has lain at the bottom of a drawer for many long years. It’s time to pull the work out, engage in the necessary hard word of giving it a thorough read-through, then taking green editing pencil to those places where revisions need to be made. And, at the denoument, when I put down the pen and rework the story no more, I hope that I will be satisfied with its message. More importantly, I hope that God will be satisfied with my place in the larger story.
To paraphrase Donald Miller, author of A Million Miles in a Thousand Years–when I’m sitting with God under a tree in Heaven, and I’m telling him my stories, I just hope I have something interesting to say.
In reclaiming My Story, these etchings and scrawlings will be an attempt to find and share a “something” that connects my story to others. In the process of reclamation, I will have to look at faith and family; at where I’ve been, where I’ve succeeded, and where I’ve failed; at the subjects I have written about in the past and the subjects about which I still want to write; about some of the comedic moments of my life and some of the tragic. God wanted me to do things upon this planet, and I have to try and discover if I have done them well or even done them at all. This is my story. It’s time to finally lay it out there.
After all…if we have no tale to tell and no stories to give back to God, why are we even here?